Facing Fears
I was peacefully reading in the blue, tweedy Grandpa chair one evening when an idea dropped lightly and unexpectedly into my lap. Living in a trailer on the land is the next step. We had debated the idea of temporary shelter onsite many times before and retired it. In the end we concluded that it could have worked as a young couple, but not now as the parents of five hale and hearty young boys.
But there it was- the way to cut the cost of rent, be onsite to build in our spare moments, and put roots down where we will live. It was simple and even obvious. I mentioned it to Matt when he got home from the temple a couple minutes later. In the course of less than ten minutes we had decided to move into a trailer. Peace.
I’m starting to recognize a pattern after I receive personal revelation that looks like Satan sending a storm of doubts and fears to shake my intention to act. The fears were delayed a few days but they came.
People will laugh and think you’ve lost your minds! You are so strange. You’re not really going to build a house with cash so why save money by living in a trailer? What if the trailer leaks? What if you’re so squished together the boys argue and whine all day long? It will be impossible, the noise and mess and stuff will drive you crazy! Why would you do something so primitive when you have a comfortable space and a hot bath here? And so on. Ad infinitum.
I sat down and wrote out the worst I could imagine- the nightmare situation. Then I wrote out a more realistic version and some strategies we could use to help mitigate the challenges. Then I wrote what we miss out on if stayed in Cardston instead of taking the leap onto the land.
What I learned is: it’s a challenge but it’s temporary and it moves us closer to our most important goal (which isn’t being comfortable apparently). We’re going to learn and adjust as we go along but we need to begin. And if things do reach nightmare proportions we can always move into another rental.
I’ve learned It will make some people uncomfortable, confused and maybe even fearful when I choose something different from society at large, like homeschooling, building our house, and not eating flour and sugar…but it doesn’t matter if no one understands as long as we’re making the decisions the Lord is guiding us to make. And if we are getting off track I trust He will correct our course. Faith.
